


Stark Spangled Boxers

by LizzieBanner



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: 3 am fire alarm, College AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-11
Updated: 2014-12-11
Packaged: 2018-03-01 02:33:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2756306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LizzieBanner/pseuds/LizzieBanner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony and Bruce should never be allowed in the dorm kitchen together and this is the story why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stark Spangled Boxers

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to FoxFire99 for being a help to the thought process and just for being wonderful. Thank you to FrozenRose for Beta reading this fic, without her it would be a mess of happy fangirling. Disclaimer, I don’t own anything from the Marvel Universe.

“Can you hand me the baking soda?” Tony’s voice interrupted Bruce’s dozing in his chair.

“Oh yeah, sure.” Bruce yawns back, reaching for and handing Tony the box in front of him. Bruce hadn’t been to sleep in a good 18 hours; he had been awake studying for finals in the only quiet spot in the dorm, the kitchen. No one ever went in there besides him anyway, so he decided to take advantage of that fact. Until Tony came in. Tony was looking for some science bro time but when he entered the kitchen he saw that Bruce was trying to study and decided to bake instead.  Except Tony needed his science bro as his right hand.

“Tony, I just need to finish this paper, please can you give me 5 minutes.” Bruce sighed. He only had the last two paragraphs to type up for the paper he had due tomorrow.

“But Brucey, I just wanted to make something for you to eat later.” Tony whispered in Bruce’s ear before twirling back to the stove. 

Bruce huffed out a laugh, “Right, Tony, sure.”

“Say Bruce, what do you want tomorrow morning for breakfast?”

“Well I can make some pancakes, or I could whip up some omelets, or maybe some sausage.”  Bruce said, smiling up at Tony.

“I could go for some sausage with two eggs.” Tony smirked, and turned back to the pot he had going on the stove.

“Now I know you aren’t just talking for yourself. What do you think your roommate would like?” Bruce asked.

“Steve? Hell if I know.” Tony threw over his shoulder, throwing more ingredients into the pot.

“Do you even know where he is right now?” Bruce wondered.

“Steve? Mr. know-it-all, Mr. Perfect-body, he’s probably asleep at this time, he has a 90 year old body clock in the body of a 19 year old.” Tony said. He threw a few more ingredients into the pot then shot over his shoulder, “Speaking of roommates, do you know where yours is?”

“Thor? Mr. Party animal, Mr. Perfect-hair, he’s passed out on his bed. He’s been there for the past 18 hours; he walked in while I was walking out.” Bruce replied with a shit-eating grin.

“So that’s why you are in here at almost 3 in the morning doing work?” Tony inquired. Tony wasn’t used to seeing his friend up so late; he was the one with insomnia, not Bruce.

“Yeah, that and I didn’t want the noise of the main room to distract me.  I think living with you, Steve, Thor, Bucky and Sam was one of the two biggest mistakes I’ve made.” Bruce said with a sign, turning away from his papers.

Tony turned away from the stove and stormed over to Bruce, “Hey now! We aren’t that bad! We are your best friends after all! You love us and we… wait two?” Tony had been on a roll until his brain finally processed the rest of what Bruce said. “What was the other one?”

“Well I think it was when…” before Bruce could finish his thought both guys jumped at the sound of the fire alarm going off. They watched the room start to get smokey.

“Shit! The pot!” Tony screamed while Bruce scrambled to save his work and pick up his stuff. Tony was trying to drag him out the door. “Come on Bruce leave it, I can replace anything! COME ON!” Tony screamed, pushing Bruce out of the kitchen and towards the front door of their room.

“No! I have all my work on that computer! I have had that laptop for two years! Tony!” Bruce screamed back, struggling to get out of Tony’s hands.

“I said I will replace it!” Tony screamed, dragging Bruce the rest of the way down the hall and out the main door of the dormitory.

They were the last out of the building, due to Bruce fighting Tony to get back to his stuff. As they came out of the building they could already see the lights of a fire truck rounding the corner to the dorm. 

“TONY! BRUCE!” Both guys turned to the voice that screamed their names. They saw their RA Natasha pushing her way to the two of them with Bucky, Sam, Clint and Peter Parker, their freshman shadow, following behind her. “Are you two the cause of this?” Natasha cried.

“Maybe...” Tony said, backing away to hide behind Bruce.

“Tasha I am so sorry-” Bruce stepped forward about to apologize for what had happened.

“Don’t Bruce, it’s alright accidents happen.” Natasha said soothingly, she knew how much her anger would work Bruce up to a panic. “It’s alright Bruce.” She said again putting her hand on his shoulder, “I’m sure-”

“ANTHONY EDWARD STARK!” Steve bellowed, striding up to the group. Tony turned and instantly collapsed into a fit of laughter. Steve was standing in the front of their dorm in a pair of American flag boxers with a bald eagle on the front that had the opening of the boxers as the mouth of the bird. “You think this is funny!” Steve went off, “Did you set off the alarm? Seriously Tony it’s 3 A.M! Why can’t you just sleep at this hour like a normal person?”

“Because that would imply that I _am_ normal Steve.” Tony sneered, peeking out from behind Bruce.

“I swear one of these days I’m just going to-” Steve was cut off by a voice speaking over him.

“Well, there was no damage. You idiots just set off the smoke alarm.” Phil Coulson, their favorite RD, said as he walked over to the group, “What _I_ want to know is why the hell you guys were in the kitchen at 3 A.M?”

“I’m sorry Phil,” Bruce spoke up. “I was working on some writing and the only quiet place in the dorm is the kitchen. Then Tony came in and was messing with the stove and …”

Phil put his hand on Bruce’s other shoulder from where Natasha still had her hand. “It’s fine Bruce. Accidents happen, no damage was done, and nobody was hurt.” Phil said reassuringly.

“But I still have to stand out here in my boxers ‘til we get the all clear!” Steve whined.

Tony gave a devilish smile and spun over to stand in front of Steve. “Well you don’t have to do it by yourself.” Tony said slowly unbuttons and unzips his pants. As quick as he could, Tony dropped his pants, stepped out of them, and was standing in front of the group in a matching pair of boxers to the ones Steve was wearing.

“You did this on purpose! You made the alarm go off when I would have no clean laundry but these stupid boxers so you could make me look silly!” Steve cried out.

“As much as that sounds like a devilishly wonderful plan that I would come up with, this was an accident Steve, and now I’m standing here just like you are in my boxers. If this doesn’t show solidarity I don’t know what does.” Tony said, walking over to Steve and putting an arm around his shoulder. Natasha and Bruce were stifling their laughter while snapping photos of this moment on their cells for future posterity.

“Okay guys you can go back in.,” Coulson said, heading towards the dorm. “Natasha, I need your list to make sure everyone was accounted for. Since there are 6 on your floor, and there are 7 of you here I just want to make sure everyone is here who’s supposed to be.”  

“7 of us …” Natasha’s eyes lit up with realization. “SHIT! THOR!” Natasha screamed and ran into the dorm.

“Oh man, Tasha is in for an earful from Coulson.” Clint said, walking slowly towards the doors.

“Wait 7 of us? Why the hell are you here Clint, you don’t live on campus?” Tony asked, following Clint into the building.

“Oh, I’m here helping Parker study for one of his exams. We were in Tasha’s room so that I could crash here, when the alarm went off.” Clint replied, reaching the door to Natasha’s room.

Natasha came walking down the hall from Thor and Bruce’s room. “He’s still freaking asleep! This entire time he was in there asleep.” Natasha wailed.

“Well that’s better than him being in there partying.” Tony chuckled.

“Thanks, Tony.” Natasha huffed out, closing her door in his face.

Tony turned to Steve and Bruce, “Well I guess that’s it for the night. We should probably go sleep like normal people.” Tony said with a smirk towards Steve.

Bruce’s eyes lit up with a mischievous gleam. “That would imply that we’re normal, Tony. I think I have a better idea.”

Tony smiled at Bruce, “Oh and what would that be Brucey?”

Bruce smiled, walked over to the two other men, “We should see how those boxers look on your bedroom floor.” He grabbed the front of their boxers and lead them to their room all of them with wicked smiles.


End file.
